I stand among the many women who were abused at some time in their life. There are moments from the past that come up and linger, making me wonder whether healing is possible. Moments that bring me back to a painful time in my story as if it were happening all over again; these memories are imprinted in the cells of my being, encompassing my self. It is as if whatever energy caused that person to harm my being was also transferred onto my being, then I become a carrier of that energy. An endless cycle for some, they continue this harmful behavior, and then there are those of us who understand this pain and refuse to allow it to repeat, yet somewhere within, this incident still lives.
‘How do I heal?’ I ponder, a whisper of forgiveness reaches my ear, I withhold tears. I want to go home, my soul calls to come back home, I want to live in the wonder of never knowing and never looking back. To be here now is my gift, in this moment I am freed and I release that which has harmed me, in this moment I am clear and I have no fear. No more, I want to look back never more, hold me here, hold me near. I want to stand here and not have to feel that fear which has followed me year after year, I want to know that I can let go and find home. I want to see it and feel it, it is here, lord knows it is here.